Life Imitating Art

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Co-Worker X [10:36 AM]:
I'm going to get a coffee - interested?

Me [10:36 AM]:
Normally I'd say yes, but I've got a cup here on my desk. Thanks for asking though.

Co-Worker X [10:41 AM]:
I can't stand the minutiae of my daily life

Me [10:41 AM]:
I hear dat.

Me [10:42 AM]:
Want to vent a bit while getting coffee?

Me [10:42 AM]:
I can bring my cup and you can buy yours.

Co-Worker X [10:42 AM]:
OK

[We leave our desks and go downstairs to the cafe, chat a bit about the challenge of finding fulfillment between 9 and 5. We part with Co-Worker X saying something along the lines of our conversations being nothing short of uplifting. The online chat resumes.]

Me [10:53 AM]:
Yeah, sorry for not being a ray of sunshine.

Co-Worker X [10:54 AM]:
Hey It's not as though I had any light to shine either...

Me [10:54 AM]:
That is true too.

Co-Worker X [10:54 AM]:
Maybe W. had the right idea

Co-Worker X [10:55 AM]:
Then again no property to worry about, no kids, partner?

Me [10:55 AM]:
Yeah, she had the right idea. As did A. It's just harder to ... yeah, exactly.

Co-Worker X [10:55 AM]:
I wish my spouse made lots of money...

Me [10:56 AM]:
I wish my cat would get off her ass and get a job.

Co-Worker X [10:56 AM]:
I don't expect to get any pity from you.

Me [10:56 AM]:
Oh, I pity you all the time.

Co-Worker X [10:56 AM]:
I knew something like that was coming back at me.

Co-Worker X [10:56 AM]:
Ha!

Co-Worker X [10:56 AM]:
The sun is coming out.... ! NOT!

Co-Worker X [10:57 AM]:
What... what's that I just read on your lips! Did you call me fat AGAIN!

Me [10:58 AM]:
I thought I was whispering.

Co-Worker X [10:58 AM]:
As with all disabilities my weight has given me a hightened sense of hearing... remember that.

Me [10:59 AM]:
Oh X. You cut a fine figure, your dream job is just around the corner, and soon all your financial troubles will disappear when you win the lottery!

Me [10:59 AM]:
Yay!

Me [11:00 AM]:
Life is awesome!

Me [11:00 AM]:
Woo!

Co-Worker X [11:01 AM]:
I feel empty.

Me [11:01 AM]:
This is making me think of Beckett.

Co-Worker X [11:01 AM]:
BTW - Happy is not a good fit for you.

Me [11:01 AM]:
Wasn't there a Beckett play called "Happy Times" or something? I'm going to look this up.

Co-Worker X [11:02 AM]:
Alright... I better go before I sinch this noose around my neck.

Co-Worker X [11:02 AM]:
cinch?

Co-Worker X [11:02 AM]:
I can't even spell... and I make a living writing.

Me [11:03 AM]:
"Happy Days" -- that's it.

Me [11:03 AM]:
"Faithfully adhering to Beckett's minimalist original, a black parody of love, marriage, and our search for meaning in an unfathomable universe, the piece consists of but two pathetic characters."

Me [11:04 AM]:
"One, wife Winnie, spends the duration of the drama half-buried in a pile of dirt; in true Beckett fashion, her predicament is never explained. The other character, husband Willie, is almost never seen. Dublin stage and screen veteran Rosaleen Linehan, in the lead, is exceptional as the trapped woman clinging to the empty, arbitrary routines and rituals of life, ever hopeful that 'this is going to be a happy day.' "

Co-Worker X [11:04 AM]:
"....the piece consists of but two pathetic characters." Eerie, eh?

Me [11:04 AM]:
Yes

Co-Worker X [11:05 AM]:
OMG... stop sending me this stuff.


Later that day ...

Co-Worker X [2:39 PM]

GAWD... this SPEC document is killing me!

Me [2:40 PM]:
Do you feel like you're half-buried in a pile of dirt?

Co-Worker X [2:40 PM]:
I actually started incorporating some technical diagrams to better understand it - BIG MISTAKE.

Me [2:40 PM]:
Do you find yourself clinging to the empty, arbitrary routines and rituals of life, ever hopeful that 'this is going to be a happy day'?

Co-Worker X [2:41 PM]:

To compound matters I open a dialogue with you ... another BIG MISTAKE.

In Every Life a Little Rain, Etc.

I haven’t written in a while.

Instead:

I have been going to work and going to yoga and buying groceries and crashing terrasses.

I have been staying home and doing laundry and cleaning surfaces and maintaining right angles.

I have been eating packaged food.

I have been staying up late.

I have been sleeping in my clothes.

And television too. There’s been a lot of that. Bad but good.
(Did you know that Jeff Goldblum is on Law and Order now?)

I have been sad.

Midsummer approaches and I am trying to stay buoyant in deep-sea diving boots.

I’ll write again soon.