Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Notes from the Trenches

[One cannot be expected to be productive at the office every day of the year, right? Especially with a company Christmas party coming up. The following is an excerpt from an instant message exchange with co-workers. Light editing was performed to clean up spelling errors and pare down personal details.]

Kim says:
It's tiring being cool and gracious all the time.

Kim says:
So I'm going to pick on Jess at the xmas party tonight.

Kim says:
Make fun of her airline hostess scarf.

Marvin says:
I can see why you might have wanted me to come though... Jess certainly would have dodged a bullet.

Kim says:
Exactly. You're a great punching bag.

Marvin says:
I thought so. Ask J for some salted peanuts and another pillow for me will you? (flight attendant reference)

Kim says:
Will do.

Kim says:
(snip)
Kim says:
Hey there, Marvin says he'd like some salted peanuts and an extra pillow when you've got a minute.

Jessica says:
Oh, hilarious.

Jessica says:
Marvin is only getting a slap in the face when I have a minute


(snip)

Marvin says:
OMG... you started the whole thing!

Jessica has been added to the conversation.

Marvin says:
Kim started the whole thing and prompted me to add something to the conversation. She should get the slap!

Jessica says:
You're both getting slapped

Jessica says:
that way it's even

Kim says:
Hee!

Marvin says:
Given the amount of things about me that I have to be bugged about (pear shape, hair loss, etc...) - don't you think I know to keep my mouth shut? Kim is evil... pure evil.

Kim says:
I never said you were pear shaped!

Jessica says:
Also, that's not even true

Jessica says:
you flap your lip all the time

Kim says:
Also, when I make fun of your hair it's because of its shape.

Kim says:
And yeah! You're a lip flapper!

Jessica says:
pear-shaped?

Marvin says:
No hang on that wasn't an invitation to start bugging me.

Kim says:
His hair you mean?

Jessica says:
yeah, what shape is it?

Kim says:
Sometimes astro boy, but lately it's like a triangle.

Marvin says:
Besides, Jess don't you have to prepare for arrival and crosscheck?

Jessica says:
there you go, flapping your lip again

Kim says:
I want her to point out the emergency exits.

Marvin has left the conversation.

Kim says:
Fine. He's left the conversation. What a wuss.

Jessica says:
I know, can't take the heat

Kim says:
And so he's out of the kitchen!

Jessica says:
sigh, what now?

Kim says:
Meh, I dunno.

2 comments:

Kurt said...

I think this post is proof that your continued insistence that I'm mean is pure projection on your part.

And that I've trained you well.

Amanda said...

At first, I thought MY day was the most silly yesterday. Then, I thought yours was.

THEN I met my brother was after-work drinks and he told me about how a formaldehyde leak at his workplace had shut things down (he works at the Science Centre) and everyone had spent the afternoon guessing the source...awesome and disgusting.