[Kim on the phone this morning with her brother Marc]
Marc: You’re a bum.
Kim: No, you’re a bum.
Marc: No, you’re a bum.
Kim: No, you are.
Marc: No, YOU are.
Kim: Mind if I change the subject?
Marc: Not at all, please do.
Kim: Thank you kindly.
Marc: Think nothing of it.
Kim: I totally smuggled a third bottle of wine into the country this week.
Marc: Really?
Kim: Yes. How could I not? You can get the good stuff in grocery stores in France, and it’s so much cheaper than it is here. Even after converting Euros to dollars it’s still half price. So I got one in each colour.
Marc: Huh.
Kim: Yeah, and I think I get away with never having my bags searched because of my overconfession technique.
Marc: What’s that?
Kim: It’s where I go up to the customs agent and instead of saying I have nothing to declare, I express concern that the jars of homemade jam I brought might be in violation of Canadian import laws. But I know they’re not, so I come across as being super-honest.
Marc: Except that you’re not. You’re a liar.
Kim: That I am.
Marc: That’s awful. It’s people like you who carry plagues across borders and ruin ecosystems.
Kim: What? With an extra bottle of wine?
Marc: Oh, it starts out that way. But then you move on to bigger and riskier things, until next thing you know, you’re sneaking in a mogwai.
Kim: Omigod! I forgot how cute they are!
Marc: Exactly. You’re such bum.
Kim: No, you are.
Marc: No, YOU ARE.
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